I seem to be missing people at the moment. It was my birthday a few weeks ago and while my parents gave me cards and presents, I got very little from my two brothers. In fact, all I got from them was a few words in a text and via Facebook. I was a bit surprised at just the text from my eldest brother as I'd sent him something for his birthday and my mother had said he had a card for me. Fortunately, my friend made up for my family as she treated me to a day out with her and a nice home cooked meal.
Although she sent me a card for my birthday, I haven't seen my befriender since well before my birthday. She was away on holiday for a couple of weeks and I was expecting to hear from her last week as we haven't been out for a long time. The other day, I picked up an email from her saying she had some family matter going on that was taking up all her time and energy and I would be hearing from her when it was all sorted. I can't say I'm that surprised at this news as it's not the first time it's happened and I get the feeling that I'm pretty low on her list of priorities. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to understand that our meetings are very important to me as it's the only time I get to go out with someone socially. I find myself wondering how much more is left in this relationship as our meetings have gotten fewer and further apart and when we do meet, it's to do exactly the same thing every time (coffee and a wander round the garden centre).
I wouldn't perhaps feel so down about all of this if it weren't for the fact that my true friend (who I spent my birthday with) has gone on holiday for two weeks. While I was starting to feel as if she was nagging me a little too much about eating properly and being cheerful, I do miss our conversations even though it's been only a week since we last spoke. It seems bad timing that the two people who would keep me entertained and out of trouble have disappeared from my radar. I have been trying to keep on the straight and narrow but it's difficult to stay positive in such circumstances. I know I should be thinking of people in a worse position than myself but I can't and I find my inner child saying it's all so unfair and here are people leaving me yet again. I've tried to occupy that child by going to meetings but it still rears it's head come evening time. I've even tried to pacify it with some of its favourite junk food but all to no avail. I guess all it wants is some attention from someone as this is what has kept it quiet during today.
If only there was an easy way of getting real friends that could actually be there. Yes, I've got followers on twitter and friends on Facebook but these are more the virtual sort of friends - not the sort you can just go out with. Perhaps there's a book out there that tells you how to get more of these real friends, if so, perhaps someone could give me the title or just send me a copy.
