It seems to have been ages since I last posted something. This is a marker of how boring my life is at the moment, I'm still waiting to find out if I've got funding for both my archery and a break I'm hoping to take in the summer. At the moment, I'm being a good little patient and am taking all my pills. The upside of the anti-psychotics is that I don't cry or get worked up but this is also a downside. Life has a very boring flatness to it at the moment - I don't get depressed but I also don't get excited by anything. This makes it quite hard to get motivated to do anything - even getting out of bed in the morning can be a bit of a struggle. On the upside, according to my friend, I'm much easier to deal with when I'm well and I'm much less argumentative.
Another downside of the anti-psychotics are the annoying side effects such as frequent dribbling and an almost constant chewing motion. As a result, I've been put on yet another new med to deal with the side effects. at this rate, I'll end up rattling every time I move. I'm not sure if it's down to this new pill, but I've suffered three hypos in four days which is starting to get me down as they tend to hit at about the same time every day. However, because of my flat mood, I'm not getting that down or annoyed by it.
I've been tempted to stop my meds and have tried a couple of times but it's only lasted a couple of days as I've found myself unable to sleep properly without the drugs. This is then the point where I start to stop my meds long term because I hate the idea of being dependent on drugs to keep me well. Yes, I guess I'm better off when I'm on them even though life seems less interesting but I hate the idea of being controlled by meds. As my mood's stuck in a nowhere land at the moment, maybe I won't get worked up enough to stop everything besides, I've got my next CPA meeting with my psychiatrist in a couple of weeks and she's never too happy when I stop my meds.
